Satoshi Urushihara's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Utena and Anshi spend at least half their scenes topless, which pretty much cancels out Utena trying to look like a prince.

Go Nagai's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Utena and Anshi spend at least half their scenes totally nekkid, which pretty much cancels out any plot at all.

Neil Simon's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - It's a laugh a minute as active and sociable Utena Tenjou and shy and naive Anshi Himemiya become unlikely roommates.  The problems with Anshi's pets are bad enough, but their bickering comes to a head over Anshi's Student Council buddies' weekly poker games.

Eugene O'Neill's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - It was supposed to be a weekly 30 minute television show, but each episode runs about 75 minutes, and half of that is taken up by one character or another staring directly into the camera and delivering a pointless monologue on what they're thinking at the moment.

Tennessee Williams's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - We finally meet the faculty of Ootori Academy, and they're all middle-aged, drunken and debauched Southernors who try to seduce and/or rape most of the students.  The teachers wind up either dead or in mental institutions.

Naoko Takeuchi's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Utena's still a good athlete, when she's not tripping over her own feet; she's always late for class, and her grades really suck.  Once she starts rooming with socially awkward brainiac Anshi, they're told by a talking monkeymouse that they are reincarnations of a team of superpowered warriors from the Moon Kingdom.  Joined in short order by Miki (yes, he's a boy, but his Japanese seiyuu is Aya Hisakawa, who voiced Sailor Mercury; he's entitled), Nanami and Wakaba, they take on the monstrous secret identities of the Student Council, including Queen Touga (lending a whole new meaning to THAT title).  In a pinch, they receive help from Tuxedo Dios.

Hanna-Barbera's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - No, this wasn't ever a series, but Choo Choo from the "Top Cat" cartoon in the 60s sues B. Papas and Chiho Saito for using his name without permission; the case drags on for years and years...

Jon Landis's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Utena and Anshi have a half-eaten bentou; there's half a tank of gas in the Akio car; they're twenty-five miles from the Ootori Academy; it's night and they're wearing sunglasses.  Some great cover versions of old R&B songs.

Dino de Laurentiis's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Ootori Academy is menaced by a fifty foot monkeymouse who falls in love with Utena.  The director was quoted in interviews as saying, "Nobody cry when Jaws die.  But when my Chuchu die, everybody cry."

Mel Brooks's Shoujo Kakumei Utena - The monkeymouse speaks!  But, because in this version his name is JewJew, everything he says is a Borscht Belt stand-up comic punchline.  He's the sidekick of Foxey Havamotzah (played by Whoopi Goldberg), who rooms with Utena, the only girl at Ootori Yeshiva who dresses like a Hasidic rabbi.  Members of the Student Council keep challenging her/him to Talmudic debates in the arena behind the school.  About halfway through the movie, someone reminds the director that this is a comedy, so there's a foodfight.  "End of the World" turns out to be a group of Nazis.  A lot of gender-bender romantic entanglements that were too tasteless to be in "Yentl".